Ok so there i was in the arms of another man acting as if he is mine. But who am i kidding? He is not mine and chances are he will never be mine. So after eating we had to talk face the harsh reality that this man belonged to someone else. I asked him to tell me about his, family he told me that the only thing that exists in that marriage are the kids but things are not good between him and his wife. Ok i immediately started thinking back and realized that this could be true that things are bad in his marriage, i mean remember when he took me to meet his parents and they welcomed me? i mean why would they welcome me if their son is happily married to their makoti? And his so called wife was never there, i mean i understand that she works at another place but a wife can atleast pick one weekend and spend it with her husband right? But this guy spent every weekend with me, which assured me that maybe it’s true the only thing that exists in this marriage is the kids.. Actually i think i was just consoling myself, trying to make myself feel better for sleeping with another woman’s man. I told him I love him and I’m willing to take the risk and be with him even though a part of knows that this is only going to end with heartache and pain for me. But no one who is single ever loved me and I believed that none will ever love me so why not be happy while it lasts???
We carried on with our relationship and to be honest we were so happy together. Matured men are the best. Just that most of them are married and that doesn’t surprise me at all because even myself if i find a man that good i would marry him soon as possible, and if he doesn’t propose i’d propose him myself :v .. Eish he was just too good to be true, he liked sports a lot, so he was a casual soccer player. I prayed a lot about our relationship even though I knew I was doing the wrong thing “Adultery”, but God had to forgive me because to me it was no sin to love someone, we had our days when we would fight because I would go out late at night with friends and drink. He hated alcohol so he always got angry with me for it.. He was also busy with his studies, he corresponded with WITS and every month we would go to JHB together when he had to attend classes. Wow I felt like a queen, he took me everywhere i practically felt like the wife. I now had no doubt in my mind that it was true that the only left of their marriage was the kids. Ooooh and my daughter also loved him so much, she would even cry for him, and sometimes when I’m home for the weekend she would start crying at night saying she wants her Daddy!! I would just call him and he would drive 93 Ks just to make sure our little girl is happy <3 My parents noticed that he was a bit older than me but they never complained maybe its because I was always wearing a beautiful smile, And they probably figured out that he is my smile keeper . And besides i have been so much and done so much crying i’m sure they also just wanted me to be happy and they saw that i was happy..
He told me that after finishing the course he was doing he would like to start his own business and I supported him 100%. We searched for relevant information and everything we could get hold of so that he can be ready and well prepared for the business world. Ok so everything was set the only thing that was standing in his way and his business dream was Capital! Months went by until in May on the 18th it was his birthday he told me that he was resigning at work, eish this didn’t sit well with me what if his business doesn’t do well? Not that i didn’t believe in him and his abilities but how will he cope,support his family and the kids with mine included because he supported her all the time?? We talked about this and eventually a decision needed to be taken, being a man of his word he didn’t change his mind, he resigned and when he got his money he funded the business. Eish but the sad part was he had to leave town and go home in Bloem he worked there. I would see him on weekends and this changed everything because a week would go by without even a call or sms, he was becoming too busy and too dustant with lots of business trips that excluded me eish this created a huge gap between us but I still loved him from my head to my toes, I love him with all my heart and my liver as well as the giblets and every intestine in my stomach he was my smile keeper.
But he didn’t have time for me anymore. I knew this day would come as I was unlucky with relationships…. We tried or let me just say I tried my best to keep it going and keep the relationship afloat but every effort I made failed because he was too busy, we drifted apart bit by bit this hurt me a lot but i didn’t give up. I would wait a month or two until I see him again for 1-2 days only. This went on for sometime until months would pass by without speaking to him on the phone but when he feels like he misses me or when he was around town he would call just to see me for few hours and leave me again, heeeeeee I thought to myself why am I still holding on to this whatever nam bendingasayazi ngoku uba ibizwa ntoni gama layo but it was no longer a relationship. But the thing is I never stopped loving him, until he stopped calling and visiting, a year went by I didn’t hear from him until the next year january when he came to my work place and told me that he still loves me and he misses me, he asked me to take leave at work so that I could spend sometime with him in Bloem for a week. I don’t know what it was about this guy, he had some kind of hold on me, he had an impact on me, ok so I agreed… I did what he asked and took leave from work, we went to my place packed all the stuff I needed then we hit the road, we fought all the way until we arrived in Bloem he booked a hotel for us we stayed there. Mhmmmmmmm we had fun just like any couple does have fun after a fight and after not seeing eachother for a long time. He told me not worry nothing and no one will ever come between us, our love is stronger than anything.. It was nice being with him again we had fun. And once again i realized that damn I loved this man. He knew just how to handle me and he knew his story in bed, he played this game very well, we stayed the whole week in Bloem and he took me back home after our week together. I went back to work I was soo beautiful glowing new hairstyle, new clothes and a smile for days.. wow I felt like a new being. I guess it was that glory I missed from him so much but I was getting used to the arrangement of seeing him after a while, it didn’t bother me that much anymore because love kept me sane and what we had was special until he disappeared for a very long time no calls no visits heeeeee I thought to myself I lost him again and this time for good………………………